On Nature of Mind
What matters...is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment.
- Viktor Frankl
My mind, my mind, oh how I hate to love my mind…or is it that I love to hate my mind? I suppose it depends on the time of day, who knows and it doesn’t matter, that is just my mind asking those questions anyways. It is amazing how my mind’s stimulating intellect can invigorate me to dream on one hand, while its incessant chatter simultaneously provides me so much anxiety. I pause to reflect how some days I think I am so smart and other days I cry in fear of my future, unsure of so much and lacking confidence in myself. Heck, let’s be honest, those emotions change by the minute, I should be so lucky for it to be days!
A few years ago I set out on a quest in search of inner peace.
I couldn’t take this monkey mind any longer. My internal state of being was in direct conflict with my external state of doing. I was so desperate for inner peace I had it tattooed on the top back of my neck. How hilarious is that – I put it in the one place impossible for me to see! ( I have since had it removed, which was far more painful and expensive than getting it).
Last night I had the honor of being in a discourse from Sogyal Riponche – world famous Buddhist teacher from Tibet and author of the highly acclaimed book “Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” – he gave us a talk on Nature of Mind at our local Sakya Monastery.
Born in Kham in Eastern Tibet, Sogyal Rinpoche was recognized at an early age as the incarnation of a great master and visionary saint of the nineteenth century. Tertön Sogyal Lerab Lingpa (1859-1926), a teacher to the thirteenth Dalai Lama. Sogyal received traditional Buddhist training from one of the most outstanding spiritual masters of the twentieth century as well as studied with many of the great masters from all schools of Tibetan Buddhism.
The central thesis of his talk was about the untamed mind and that what is needed most in the world today is for me, all of us, to understand the nature of our mind, to tame our mind, to transform our mind of knowing.
He spoke to me of how I am to not outwardly look, but inwardly see – that this is the nature of my mind. Inward direction is where my wisdom resides. Inwardly I see nothing, the nature of my mind is emptiness. An externally facing mind is driven by its ego which seeks to convert anything, any thought or belief, for its own benefit. Fear and anxiety comes from an untamed, externally facing mind which my ego seeks me to have so it can control my emotions. The ego does this to me to protect me because I really don’t want to change or to feel the pain of the truth, so my ego distorts my perception to protect itself – me. The truth is my perceptions are not reality. My perceptions are the stories the ego creates in my mind to control me. I think what I see is reality, but it is really just a clouded view of perception based on my judgements and fears – it is what I think, not what is. When I don’t see my ego as different than myself, then everything the ego does I let, I give it permission to do to me. Yet, I don’t have to be my ego.
- Samsara - the endless loops of birth and death, comes from a life lived with the mind turned outwardly, looking outside of self and lost in thought, emotions, and stories.
- Nirvanna - the extinction of desire, delusion, attachment, is blissful egolessness.
My true presence is when I am truly showing you my beingness. Not doingness, not thinkingness, not busyness – but just being present. Happiness cannot be obtained objectively – if it could be, all rich people would be happy. Happiness can only be obtained through subjectivity of the mind.
A Zen mind is a beginner's mind, an open mind.
One in which there are millions of possibilities. The Expert mind is a closed mind where the possibilities are few and limiting. I live in a world of seeking to be the expert, when in reality that is my poorest and most egoist place of mind. My expert state seeks to have power over, my beginner seeks to learn and grow.
Sogyal reminds me not alter the mind, but to alter my grasp on having to know. Society drives me through fear of scarcity and with that I desire more and become attached to more for fear of not having enough. Yet desire and attachment only leads to my suffering. My open mind allows me to see and connect with others, being interconnected in the web of life and not isolated and distant. My takeaway from last night – do not look outwardly, but inwardly see – that is the nature of mind. Inward direction is where wisdom resides. You see nothing, the nature of mind is emptiness and from there the possibilities are endless.
